This week, a local woman’s story about surviving her abusive relationship went viral on Facebook. This woman says she decided to go public after her abuser was granted parole because she is afraid for her safety, and the safety of her children. She claims her ex-partner has already breeched an emergency protection order multiple times – this is not uncommon. We have written about it here with Erin Kern, here with a mother of three children in Calgary, and we hear the story countless times in the survivors we support.
It’s well known that the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she makes the decision to leave. The Alberta Council of Women’s Shelters (ACWS) released their newest report The Cost of Leaving which indicates that 79.5% of emergency shelter survivors and 88.7% of second-stage shelter survivors are at severe or extreme risk of being murdered by their partner.
We cannot hear this new story without thinking of Jessica Martel and the reason our organization exists. A woman should not have to carry the responsibility of keeping herself and her children safe alone. The systems that SHOULD protect her leave her carrying that burden alone, and this is a failure we cannot accept.
The legal process can be difficult for survivors of domestic violence. Reporting abuse, taking part in court proceedings, and speaking about what happened all take a toll. Even after the case ends, concerns about safety can continue.
Leaving an abusive relationship also does not necessarily mean the abuse ends. Economic abuse can leave someone without access to money, employment or the resources they need to live independently. It can also leave them with a poor credit rating and unable to find work. Finding safe and affordable housing is another barrier. Survivors should not be left to manage all of this on their own.
At the Jessica Martel Memorial Foundation, our work through Jessie’s House, Eileen’s Place and our outreach services focuses on helping individuals and families find safety and rebuild their lives. We know how much safe housing, practical support and having someone to turn to matter.
But shelters and community organizations cannot do this alone. Police, the courts, government and organizations like ours need to work together. That means:
This Family Violence Prevention Month, I am asking our community to turn concern into action:
• To elected officials and justice-system leaders: listen to survivors and frontline organizations. Examine where protections are failing and act to close those gaps.
• To businesses, funders, and community partners: invest in shelters, housing, prevention, and ongoing support. Safety requires sustained resources—not just expressions of concern.
• To everyone reading: challenge the question, “Why doesn’t she leave?” Ask instead, “Why is she still in danger, and what needs to change to protect her?”
Survivors deserve more than the opportunity to leave an abusive relationship. They deserve the opportunity to live safely afterward. We should not need another tragedy before we take a woman’s fear seriously.
Jessica Martel Memorial Foundation
Until all homes are safe.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, support is available. Call our 24/7 crisis line at 1-866-939-2850.